Don’t: A definitive guide on how not to do university

Don’t expect freshers to be an uber-fun hedonistic paradise

Don’t try and fool yourself into being something different from what you are and then detest yourself intensely. 

Don’t try to convince yourself you’re not having a shit time.

Don’t neglect the few decent people you do meet in the beginning.

Don’t put your belief into your old friends from home.

Don’t hesitate to move flat if you’re in the incredibly likely scenario where you miraculously don’t get on with strangers with whom you are randomly thrust together.

Don’t pay a load of money to join a bunch of societies and then stop going because of the initial futile awkward tension.

Don’t drown in your own self-absorption, believing that no one is having a worse time than you.

Don’t let your hatred of those that surround you prevent you from making any friends so you end up in a house with the first group of people that have a space for you.

Don’t spend every night in your room alone refusing to socialise.

Don’t refuse to move on from your old friends through shortsighted and bloody minded ignorance.

Don’t start second year exactly the same.

Don’t convince yourself you’re far too unique for the people at your university, and blame their conformity for your lack of ability to make friends.

Don’t doubt yourself.

Don’t ever be utterly reliant on one other person, it’s not fair.

Don’t hate people for having a good time.

Don’t think it’s normal to detest life in such an intense and painful way.

Don’t let your mood wreck your work.

Don’t bother with people who aren’t worth your time.

Don’t let your mood get to the stage where crippling social anxiety prevents you from engaging in social activities. 

Don’t take your frustration out on people that actually care.

Don’t make your only respite a trip home every weekend.

Don’t go to enter your third year as a friendless hollow shell of a person.

Don’t give up trying.

Don’t: A definitive guide on how not to do university

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